Couples Play

How to choose couples sex toys

The best couples sex toys are the ones you are both curious about. Start with a conversation: what do you each enjoy, what would you like more of, and what is a hard no? Then choose a toy that fits that conversation. For more on why toys can bring you closer, read sex toys for enhancing intimacy.

Easy first steps

• Remote control vibrators: one partner wears it, the other holds the remote. Browse remote control vibrators.
• Vibrating cock rings: add vibration for both partners during penetrative sex. See cock rings.
• Bullets and wands: easy to hold between bodies or use during foreplay.
• Massage candles, oils and games: low-pressure ways to slow down.

Ready to explore

Once you have found your rhythm, these couples sex toys take things further:

• Restraints and bondage kits: cuffs, under-bed systems, spreader bars and blindfolds for power play. Shop bondage gear.
• Strap-ons: for pegging or switching roles; see strap-on harnesses.
• Position aids: straps, benches and wedges that support new angles and take the strain off.
• Sex machines: thrusting toys for hands-free intensity.
• Anal toys: beginner plugs with a flared base, ideally with a remote.

Materials, size and comfort

For anything insertable, look for body-safe silicone, which is non-porous and easy to clean. For restraints, padded or fleece-lined cuffs are kinder to skin and easier for beginners. Check sizing on harnesses and cock rings before buying: a stretchy silicone cock ring is the most forgiving first choice. If noise matters, small vibes and remote toys are quieter than sex machines.

Matching toys to your goals

Want more foreplay? Try massage and sensation toys. Want more clitoral stimulation during sex? Add a vibrating cock ring or a bullet. Want to play with power? Start with cuffs and a blindfold. Want to switch roles? Explore strap-ons. Choosing by goal keeps your shopping cart, and your expectations, focused.

How to play together

• Agree on boundaries and a safe word or signal before you start, especially with restraints or power play. Our guide to cultivating healthy boundaries in intimate relationships is a great starting point.
• Start slow and low. Lowest settings, loosest straps, plenty of lube.
• Check in often, verbally or with a squeeze of the hand.
• Never leave a restrained partner alone, and keep safety scissors nearby for rope or tape.
• Afterwards, take time for aftercare: water, cuddles and a chat about what you loved.

Cleaning and lube compatibility

• Clean shared toys before and after every use with warm water and mild soap or toy cleaner.
• Use a condom on porous toys you share, and never move a toy from anal to vaginal play without washing it.
• Water-based lube is safe with every toy material and condom. Oil-based lube degrades latex condoms; silicone lube can damage silicone toys.

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